But there is something about a work trip in the middle of February to Hawaii that leaves me a bit, shall we say, envious. Of the trip, of course, but I would even take the eight-hour plane ride out there. Even if it meant having to sit next to a large man whose thigh kind of poured into my airplane seat space. If it meant I were alone and I could sleep, I would take it and leave this behind quicker than you could say "Mahalo."
If you ever find yourself having to leave your spouse with your two children aged two and under in the middle of February while going to Hawaii, here are the top ten things that you shouldn't say to that person:
1. "Hey, did you see that it's supposed to be pretty nice this week for you? We pretty much will be having the same type of weather." Honolulu: 80 degrees with sunshine; Chicago: 45 degrees with sunshine and snow still piled high.
2. "I am just really tired from the plane ride."
3. "Can I call you back? My food just came."
4. "The waves were so loud last night they kept me awake."
5. "It was scary; I fell asleep in the tub."
6. Any type of complaint about traveling. Were you alone? Did you get to eat when you wanted, go to the bathroom when you wanted, talk when you wanted? 'Nough said.
7. "Are you busy right now?"
8. "I really wish you were here. I think I wish you were here more than you wish you were here." Doubt it.
9. "My nose is peeling."
10. "You look much skinnier than you did before I left." By implication, you just called me fat. And the only reason I look skinny is because I haven't had a chance to eat because I have been so busy. And, no, you can't win for trying.
Mahalo....
